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Australia wants facial recognition system to verify grot seekers

Australia wants facial recognition system to verify grot seekers

Aussies might have a tougher time accessing porn to crank it to STREWTH MATE, what’s that all over your face; you’ve been looking at porn again, haven’t you mucker? This is a situation that could arise due to Australia’s plan to verify grot users by squirting face-scanning tech all over their mugs. The Aussie government wants to use

Australia wants facial recognition system to verify grot seekers

Aussies might have a tougher time accessing porn to crank it to

STREWTH MATE, what’s that all over your face; you’ve been looking at porn again, haven’t you mucker? This is a situation that could arise due to Australia’s plan to verify grot users by squirting face-scanning tech all over their mugs.

The Aussie government wants to use facial scans to confirm a person’s age before granting them access to porn or online gambling services, reported the Sydney Morning Herald.

The scans would be sucked up and then verified by a proposed system dubbed the “Face Verification Service”.

“Home Affairs is developing a Face Verification Service which matches a person’s photo against images used on one of their evidence of identity documents to help verify their identity,” Australia’s Home Affairs agency detailed in a submission to the House of Representatives Standing Committee on Social Policy and Legal Affairs.

“This could assist in age verification, for example by preventing a minor from using their parent’s driver license to circumvent age verification controls.”

Despite the country being founded on folks kicked out of Britain, Australia doesn’t seem to have reached around to Blighty to ogle its porn age verification plans. If it had done so it would have found that such plans have been chocked by failure, with the UK government spunking money on a scheme that didn’t work and has now been consigned to the same pit of shame as our Corby’s Hottest Housewives VHS.

Given how tech-savvy a lot of teenagers are these days, it wouldn’t be hard to imagine them quickly fingering their keyboards to set up a VPN or finding some backdoor action to get around such age verification checks.

A facial recognition system for age verification might be a tougher system to crack, but then it would require Aussies to swallow big loads of privacy-smashing tech, especially if the system ended up keeping a database of Antopedian self-abusers.

We’re calling it now; this facial recognition system is going to be a premature failure and a disappointing erection of controls supposedly designed to keep young folks from ogling some wiggly jiggly bits online; protecting them from the dangers of online gambling does make sense, but perhaps better parental controls and ISP intervention would solve that.

And in a nation where a lot of the wildlife is deadly and the heat is enough to fry a Brit in, we feel it would be a bit rough to Aussies from having simple access to a bit of filth. µ

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Susan E. Lopez
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