I went in fully prepared to be sarcastic about the monarchy and came out having genuinely enjoyed a ballroom, which I resent
A friend had a spare ticket to the Buckingham Palace summer opening and, having absolutely nothing better to do and a deep, unresolved curiosity I am not proud of, I went along fully intending to spend the whole ninety minutes making sarcastic comments under my breath about the entire concept of monarchy.
What Actually Happened Instead
The Ballroom got me. I am not proud of this. Thirty six and a half metres of genuinely absurd, over the top grandeur, and I stood there, a person who owns exactly one pair of trousers without a single hole in them, feeling something uncomfortably close to awe, which is not the reaction I had planned or wanted for the day.
The Ideological Crisis This Caused
I have spent a genuinely significant portion of my adult life writing songs about the pointlessness of inherited wealth and unearned institutional grandeur, and here I was, audibly going ooh at a very large room, a contradiction I have chosen to process by simply not thinking about it too hard.
The Bit I Will Actually Defend
The audio guide was, credit where due, genuinely well produced, and the Grand Staircase really does look exactly as dramatic in person as every single royal wedding photograph has suggested for years, a rare case of the actual thing living up to the hype rather than disappointing on arrival.
A Small Consolation For My Principles
I did, at least, refuse to buy anything from the gift shop on the way out, a stand I am choosing to consider a meaningful act of ongoing ideological resistance despite having just spent ninety minutes being quietly moved by a very large chandelier.
What The Satirists Made Of The Whole Institution This Week
The team over at The Daily Squib have, as ever, been considerably less conflicted about the whole monarchy question than I currently am, and reading their takedown on the bus home did at least restore some of my previous sarcastic equilibrium.
Gig Update
We are supporting a slightly bigger band at a venue in Camden next month, genuinely good opportunity, properly nervous about it already despite it being weeks away, which the rest of the band find hilarious given how unbothered I usually claim to be about literally everything.
A Note On My Own Hypocrisy
I have already, somewhat sheepishly, told three separate people about the Ballroom since visiting, which is not the behaviour of someone who remains ideologically unmoved, and I am choosing to blame the audio guide entirely for this lapse in my own personal brand.
Closing Thought
Ideologically compromised, genuinely impressed, still refusing to buy a tea towel with a crown on it. More contradictions at my page on The London Prat.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com
